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Like on FacebookI hate this whole culture of cool that is wrapped up in ‘not giving a shit’. I hate that for so many people around my age the pinnacle of ‘coolness’ (whatever coolness is, who even knows to be honest) is about how much you can not care about stuff. Coolness that is wrapped in things like not giving shit about Daniel Tosh’s rape joke, or not giving a shit about whether or not it’s okay for white girls to appropriate other cultures, or not giving a shit about Caitlin Moran’s racism or just generally not giving a shit about whether or not the words you use might be offensive to somebody.
I can’t understand this idea of ’Oh wow, it’s so cool that you don’t give a shit about whether you’re racist or sexist or otherwise offensive.’ This idea that caring about not being an offensive dickhead is just so uncool, that educating yourself is so uncool, that caring about trying to be a good person is so uncool. Being an ignorant, racist/sexist/homophobe is just so much cooler, not giving a shit about how you make other people feel is just so much cooler. Being offensive is so edgy and funny. Knowing that something is offensive but not caring is just so awesome. I can’t understand the way that people who are really caught up in this ‘coolness’ like to write off those of us who do genuinely care about these issues as ‘feminist killjoys’ and ‘PC police’. I don’t care about these issues because it gives me some feeling of moral superiority over those who don’t; I care about these issues because they either affect me directly or because I know people who are directly affected and hurt by these things. I care about these issues because I genuinely believe that they are important and that they matter.
I am the uncoolest guy ever because I think compassion, empathy and trying your best to be a good person are important. I think critical thought, examining and checking privilege, and interrupting whiteness are important. I think intersectional feminism is important. I think that words mean things and that we should all choose our words carefully and do our best to stop using hurtful or offensive terms in every day speech. I think that as bloggers with fairly large audiences it is our obligation to do all that we can to make sure our posts, outfits, and comments are not offensive or hurtful to our readers. I don’t think that fashion blogs or fashion bloggers are exempt from engaging in these discussions just because they may not directly fit into the usual blog post topics. I think it’s important to hold other bloggers accountable for their words and actions and not to just ignore bad behaviour because you think somebody is ‘cool’. I feel like as human beings and as adults it is our responsibility to think about how our actions and words (both on and offline) will make other people feel and to do our very best not to be hurtful. This goes for racism, misogyny, ableism, homophobia, heteronormativity, classism etc. I do give a shit about these things, I really give a shit and I wish more other people did too.
at 12:10 am
Yes! I especially agree that fashion bloggers aren’t (and shouldn’t be) exempt from critical thought. And I’m so fucking sick of the ‘oh whatevs it’s just fashion it’s meant to be fun lol!’ excuse – fashion isn’t an excuse for being a shitty human being. People need to grow the fuck up and take some responsibility for their shit!
at 7:26 am
Queen Bronny for President of the World
at 8:15 am
THIS – is the reason I love your blog. I think the fact the it’s okay to be racist as long as you’re ‘cool’ is bull.
I give a crap. And I make sure that everyone knows that I give a crap.
at 8:29 am
nobody should be exempt from pulling others up on their utter lack of respect and compashion. If i ever insult anyone by complete and utter accident(everyone make small mistakes and i feel its hard to fully say what you mean over the internet) i hope im pulled up on it and can change my attitude.
the thing thats gettinng my goat at the moment is how its suddenly ‘cool’ to wear those bindi gems like is prefectly ok to ignore all cutleral significance on them to make your outfit look good.
Don’t worry- we can sit at home with our respective pets and be as uncool as possible, i would much rather be kind and thoughtful than cause offense to anyone and ‘cool’
x
p.s. im now sitting here hoping this comment isn’t going to offend anyone.
at 8:44 am
Fuck yeah. Also related: the notion of “dark humour”, used in a way that makes some dickheads really self-righteous. Oh I’m so cool and twisted and able to joke about really “taboo” things like paedophilia and domestic violence. Also really deep. It’s so important to be able to laugh about anything / at anyone.
NOPE. Dickheads.
at 9:46 am
Being an old person, the younger generation has been taught not to care. Why care as it makes you use that lump that is about 2 1/2 feet from your butt. Where I work I see this all the time everyday.
I think you do a great job of everything.
at 10:32 am
‘ I think compassion, empathy and trying your best to be a good person are important’ – me too. How I try to live.
Infuriating how our PM (I’m a New Zealander) can call a red shirt ‘gay’ and people think that’s an acceptable term. Not cool. Not funny. Not clever.
at 3:55 pm
I absolutely agree. I’m tired of hipster irony, and not giving a shit being the dominant mode of writing and blogging amongst people my age, and amongst what is considered to be ‘popular’. It’s like living in a very narrow and self-contained bubble of privilege.
Having just written a post on intersectionality and feminism on my own blog, I find it hard to read through popular blogs and wallow in their easy superficiality and ignorance. But what I find more disturbing is that this mode of superficiality and ignorance is being held up as the dominant way for young women to gain a ‘popular’ voice: I.e. ‘Want to get some traffic for your blog? Hey, why not write ironic sexism and racism, and call it “modern feminism” ‘. Such bullshit. To me, it’s basically old-school sexism and racism in ‘cool’, hipster clothing.
Great post.
at 1:14 am
Well said! I was just trying to explain this the other day…and I didn’t know how. But you summed it up so well. I get offended by stuff like that, and people say I am too sensitive. But I disagree. I don’t think it is cool or funny or ironic to insult people or to be aloof and uncaring. But if you say that to people, you find yourself on the recieving end of their bullshit. Thank you so much for posting this.
at 1:44 pm
love your blog. I definitely agree…we are too quick to make jokes out of things, overall. Lets put our hearts on our sleeves and be more sincere too.
at 12:24 am
I really needed to read this today. Awesome.